Uchiha Rules
by ktwjdramaaddictedotaku
Summary: Sasuke writes a book about Uchiha rules, changing it and adding some. Poor Naruto. Itachi smiles : aww. If there was a gernre for randomness i would be that. Random fic.
1. The rules

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters.**

**Warning: Rushness; Grammar; OOCness; Yaoi; Lemon; swearing; repetitiveness (I'm a repetitive person) and anything you notice that isn't on this list but is on this list.**

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_**Uchiha Rules That Should Never Ever be Broken**_

_**By Sasuke Uchiha. Version 3**__**  
**_

**Rule Number 0: These following rules should never be broken**, **even if they don't make sense  
****Rule Number 1: Uchiha's**** must**** look emotionless  
Rule Number 2: Uchiha's shall not show emotion  
****Rule Number 3: They can show emotion only in private with their special someone  
****Rule Number 4: Uchiha's must be hot and sexy  
****Rule Number 5: Uchiha's wont drool  
****Rule Number 6: Uchiha's must always be tidy  
****Rule Number 7: Uchiha's will get what they want  
****Rule Number 8: When gotten, Uchiha's will protect  
****Rule Number 9: When protecting no one is aloud to touch  
****Rule Number 10: Uchiha's are always protective about their properties  
****Rule Number 11: As well as family and partners  
****Rule Number 12: Uchiha's must have great hair  
****Rule Number 13: The hair must be silky and sleek  
****Rule Number 14: The hair should have no spilt ends**  
**Rule Number 15: Uchiha's hair must suit them with great style**  
**Rule Number 16: Uchiha's must keep their appearance**  
**Rule Number 17: Uchiha's when wearing clothes must have the Uchiha symbol on it.**  
**Rule Number 18: Even on their partners to show who they belong to**

**Rule Number 19: Uchiha's skin must stay flourished  
Rule Number 20: Uchiha's teeth must stay clean  
Rule Number 21: Uchiha's glares must be deadly  
Rule Number 22: deadly enough to kill someone  
Rule Number 23: That someone being who annoys said Uchiha  
Rule Number 24: ...and does it on purpose to the Uchiha  
Rule Number 25: Uchiha's should never lose their Dignity  
Rule Number 26: ...Especially to their Partner  
Rule Number 29: Uchiha's should always say "hn"  
Rule Number 30: Even though it may not even be a word  
Rule Number 31: Uchiha's don't care if it's a word or not  
Rule Number 32: Uchiha's shall stay handsome  
Rule Number 33: Uchiha's shall not be pushovers  
Rule Number 34: If gay, Uchiha's shall not stay in the closet  
Rule Number 35: They will be proud of their sex preferences  
Rule Number 36: If gay, Uchiha's shall NEVER be UKE  
Rule Number 37: They shall always be SEME  
Rule Number 38: Uchiha's can't kill Fan girls  
Rule Number 39: even though they really want to  
Rule Number 40: Uchiha's should respect their Partner  
Rule Number 41: Will not molest their blond...I mean partner in Public. NOT.  
Rule Number 42: Will not rape their dobe I mean partner anytime anywhere no matter how horny they are. NOT.  
Rule Number 43: Uchiha's are always kinky ;)  
Rule Number 44: Uchiha's will defiantly not beg for more!  
Rule Number 45: Uchiha's want what they want and shall get what they want when they want  
Rule Number 46: Uchiha's always win  
Rule Number 47: Uchiha's must always have their famous smirk gracing their lips as well as the eyebrow raising.  
Rule Number 48: Uchiha's won't smile  
Rule Number 49: only for their loved ones  
Rule Number 50: If Uchiha gets drunk, they keep their dignity -_-"  
Rule Number 51: Uchiha's won't laugh  
Rule Number 52: only for their loved ones  
Rule Number 53: Uchiha's can chuckle  
Rule Number 54: Uchiha's will never be bottom for their uke  
Rule Number 55: even if they use their pout and sexiness  
Rule Number 56: Uchiha's shall pound their love without mercy  
Rule Number 57: Uchiha's are always seducers  
Rule Number 58: When there's sex, Uchiha's are sadists to the uke. ;)  
Rule Number 59: Uchiha's shall always be proud  
Rule Number 60: and keep their pride!**

Sasuke smirked at a job well done as he closed the new Uchiha rule book.  
Naruto walked in with a towel loosely wrapped round his thin tanned waist.  
"Oi! Teme what do you think you're doing, no chance in hell am I wearing this...this...this repulsive outfit! Count me out!" he held up a Santa girl Uniform in his right hand.  
A tight top which was short, that it would show his stomach and a mini skirt that barely went past his crotch and last of all a thong. A THONG! He was a dude he didn't want to wear that, he wanted boxers, BOXERS! Can't you hear him, he said boxers! and a whip in this left.  
"no way are we using this!NOW gimme back my clothes!" Naruto looked ready for a fight now, he wanted his clothes. NOW.  
Sasuke almost drooled at the site he was taking in, golden wet looks sticking to his lovely tanned flustered skin, his turquoise eyes sparking in to his coal eyes.

Sasuke's eyes travelled to the clothes and frowned, he wanted to see the blond IN the clothes not NOTHING in the clothes.  
Smirking evilly, he stood up; a flicker of panic flooded the blonds face before disappearing. Something bad was going to happen, and he didn't like it.  
"What Uchiha's want..." he stepped forward toward him. Naruto froze. "..Uchiha's get..." another step to his prey ".and what I want..." he wrapped his arms around the wide eyed blond "...is you in that, sprawled on my bed and ready for me, hm? So how 'bout it?" he whispered in his ear  
Naruto pushed him away "no way are you winning this time!"  
Sasuke chuckled and raised an eyebrow, Naruto gulped. "Is that a challenge my love?"  
Naruto's eyes widen before he ran for his life.  
Sasuke stood still for 5 seconds for poofing off.  
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!H OW THE HELL!? YOU CHEATED!"

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lol, and people reading this who reads Passing poems , sorry for not updating, I'm working on it though!


	2. A present

Disclaimer: I'll keep it simple...I do not own Naruto or any of the characters and I shall never will.

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A young man, the age of just 20 or 21 yawned as he walked down a bright lit corridor.  
He flinched when he opened the brown wooden door.  
As many times that he has seen the decorated living room, it still blinded him to no end from the brightness.  
The tree with the baubles and tinsel wrapped around it so delicately, the lights flashing off and off with Christmas songs playing with each flash.  
Pictures of each Akatsuki in teams and together hung neatly on the wall, little decorations on the frame to make it stand out in the room.  
Mistletoe hidden in different places, 8 stockings hanging on a fake fireplace.

Each stocking had a picture showing something about each of them.  
The first stocking had a puppet on strings  
second: an explosion with tongues in the corner. "Deidara" was written neatly on a tag stitched to the top.  
Third: A sweets and lolly pops in the name of "Tobi"  
forth: A heart on it. Not one of those hearts people draw but hearts as in a human heart. Behind the heart it had a clearly written name "Kakuzu"  
fifth: A sign of a triangle in side a circle and a scythe in the background and a tag poking out of the top and written in blood, "Hidan"

Sixth: A man eating plant with a tag hanging at the side, in big writing it said "Zetsu"  
seventh: A fish jumping over a sunset into the water "Kisame" written in bubbles floating in the water.  
And last but not least a sharingan with the Uchiha symbol behind it. "Itachi" Written neatly in the bottom corner.

Itachi looked at each one before lastly looking at his; it appeared it had something inside it.  
Feeling curiosity raise within him, he looked around before taking a slow pace towards his, upon arriving at his stocking he slid his hand into it, his pale fingers wrapping around the package.  
Before he could pull it out, he received a smack to his hand and a push on his chest.  
Itachi raised an eyebrow at a long blond who was holding a wooden spoon to his face.  
"Itachi-san!yeah!" he yelled at the raven  
"You are not allowed to look in your stocking until it is Christmas day!" the blond lowered the spoon and grinned "just be patient"  
Itachi turned around without a word and walked out, maybe the morning paper would be at the door. He was correct, as well as another package beside it  
Itachi bent down and picked up the package as well as the newspaper, looking at it, he noticed it was addressed to him.  
Raising an eyebrow again, he poofed off into his room, placing it on his desk and sitting in the chair.  
Examining it more, he saw that the return address was his beloved little brother.

Raising his eyebrow, he began thinking of what could be in there.  
A bomb that would go off as soon as he opens it, was there poison on the box and he would die in 15 minutes, mustard gas inside the box that when he would breath it in he would die a painfully slow death?  
He considered many things but his mind never stayed on one thought, deciding he had to know he began un-wrapping the box, before opening.  
Inside the box, laid a book.  
Itachi stared at the book, his staring turning to glaring.  
The book looked so innocent and harmless but he knew it wasn't and it was going to attack him soon. He carried on glaring at it, hoping it would vanish.  
But sadly it didn't, sighing he pulled the book out of the box and opened it, inside on each page, had rules. The Uchiha rules to be exact.  
Letting his eyes glide along the page, reading each sentence, registering each word in this mind.  
He noticed that his little brother had taken out a lot of the rules added a lot, made a few mistakes and some didn't even make sense in the least.

Smirking, he flicked all the way back to the first page, at the front there was a note on a blank page.

_Dear Itachi-Niisan,_

_As much as I do hate you, I still love you, the memories of our past I shall never forget._  
_As it is Christmas time, a time to see how lucky we are with our life, sharing and giving._  
_Well, I'm doing my part, a home made gift. This book. Read it, memorise it, don't eat it, carry it around and look after it._

_Love from_  
_Your little Otouto, Sasuke_.

_P.S Dare to get Naruto? Akatsuki will die!_

Itachi let the smallest of smiles grace his lips, before it disappeared in an instant.  
Placing the book on a top self, he stared at it, maybe Christmas, this year he would repay a visit, to his parents graves and his little brother. Sasuke.

I hope, to u, that this was...interesting? or something. -_-"  
Well please comment!


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